Wednesday, November 15, 2017

You came along...

...and you cut me loose.


I'm tired
Is there anything I can do to be heartless for a while?
Is there anything I can do to shut myself down for a while?
Because I still cry myself to sleep
I'm tired

Knowing that the person you're thinking about
won't even feel the same




Thank you for letting me know,
that I was just an option in your life

And here we are, going back to square one




So I'll check the weather wherever you are
'Cause I wanna know if you can see the stars tonight
It might be my only right

Friday, October 27, 2017

Breakeven



It is said that the Universe will keep letting you be in the same cycle,
until you've learned something from the following situation.

I guess I've finally realized what cycle that I am in, it is to deal with people who have unfinished business with the past
But since I haven't found the way out of that circumstances,
and I keep pushing people away from my life
wanting to see if they would do something to stay,
but apparently I haven't learned a thing.
So I had to face the lesson once again, losing the one you love.

What would you do if you could turn back time?
Would you do it the same way or the other way around?
For me, I would not want it the other way around,
just wish for a more exciting ending, for us.
But that is not how the world works, right?

Dan setelah luka-lukamu reda 
Kau lupa aku juga punya rasa
Lalu kau pergi kembali dengannya 

Aku pernah menyentuhmu apa kau malu


Then I noticed the sign on your back
It boldly says try to walk away
I go on pretending I'll be ok
This morning it hits me hard that
Still everyday I think about you
I know for a fact that's not your problem
But if you change your mind,
you'll find me hanging on to the place

Where the big blue sky collapse

You are the one I wanted most to stay,
But you didn't, anyway.

Thursday, August 31, 2017

4:02



Trouble breathing and trouble sleeping
These thoughts and feelings are too consuming
I want to be able to write these things down
But as each day passes by
It's not getting any easier to put them into words

In the mean time,
All I can think about is how
I miss you
I miss us
so fucking much
It hurts so badly



And there's nothing I can do about it

Sunday, July 23, 2017

The most beautiful thing is...


"...I never saw you coming."


They say when you meet someone who completes your soul,
you will feel an instant connection, like you've known him/her for a long time.

They say when you meet someone who completes your soul,
he/she could tell the storms in your eyes or the unspoken things within your silence.

They say when you meet someone who completes your soul,
the connection will make you feel doubtful if you ever truly loved someone before.

As James Morrison said, it is some kind of thing that makes you scared alright.
It might made you become distant at first, simply to protect yourself from being torn apart again.


Since people speak in different love language, we got a lot to learn from each other,
and I am willing to give it a try.


...And I hope you'd want the same thing as well.

Friday, June 2, 2017

La La Land


"The great moments in your life won't necessarily be the things you do,
they'll also be the things that happen to you

Now, I'm not saying you can't take action to affect the outcome of your life.
You have to take action, and you will.

But never forget that on any day,
you can step out the front door and your whole life can change forever.
You see, the universe has a plan, kids, and that plan is always in motion.

A butterfly flaps its wings, and it starts to rain.
It's a scary thought, but it's also kind of wonderful.

All these little parts of the machine constantly working,
making sure that you end up exactly where you're supposed to be,
exactly when you're supposed to be there.

The right place at the right time."
ー Theodore Evelyn Mosby 


------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


One day, it was only me and myself.
And one day, without a former notice or signs or whatsoever, you came along.

"Hi!" was the word that started everything.

This might sounds corny, but thank you for letting me feel this way again towards someone.
That for once after a long time, opening up to someone doesn't seem so bad.
Deeply sorry and thank you for putting up with my twisted mind which tends to overthink most of the time.
You would not believe how thankful I am for your existence,
That at the same time make me feel so scared of the thought of losing you.




P.S.: If by any chance you'd stumble upon this, I love you.

Tuesday, March 24, 2015

"Gue mau nanya...


...Tolong sebutin tiga hewan yang paling lo suka dan alasannya.
Nomor urut menentukan peringkat how much you like them."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


(narsis sikit)

"1. Anjing: karena mereka bisa menghibur hati gue even cuma dengan liat mukanya doang;
2. Kuda: because they look cool gimana gitu hahaha lebih karena pengen bisa naik kuda sih sebenernya;
3. Burung: soalnya mereka enak bisa terbang bebas ke sana kemari hahahaha
Jir, maap yak alasannya cetek abis."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Udah kegambar sih lo seperti apa. You always pretend to make your best friends and family feel safe and not to worry about you, right? Maksud gue, bukan semua kehidupan lo pretend, tapi lo selaku ingin terlihat baik-baik saja dan bisa menghibur. Ngga bikin orang lain cemas and try to keep everyone's heart happy.

But honestly, they are not looking at you the way you want them to. Mereka liat Jeanne ini bukan periang, tapi lebih ke keren dan bisa menempatkan diri. Mereka sebenernya tau kalo lo tengah berusaha untuk terlihat baik-baik saja, tapi bagusnya lo tau kapan kudu action, kapan biasa aja. Trust me, lo drama, tapi ngga se-drama gue. Ketika lo drama, sebenarnya keluarga lo tau, tapi mereka ngikutin drama lo yang wajar. Halah, gitu pokoknya. Lo itu selalu bisa diandalkan. Lo itu pekerja keras. Such a hard worker, a good friend, sister and daughter.

But sejujurnya, lo juga udah mulai jenuh gitu mulu. Lo ingin bisa explore apa yang lo mau. Bisa dibilang gitu. Iya ngga, sih? That is why you chose bird as your last choice. Tiga hewan di atas itu menggambarkan diri lo yang sebenarnya, percaya apa ngga. Kalau tadi lo bilang ke gue "sorry alasannya dangkal", berarti sebenarnya lo emang ngga suka yang ribet-ribet.

Lo ingin terlihat seperti anjing, yang bisa menenangkan, setia, menghibur dan menyenangkan.

Tapi yang kebanyakan orang liat tentang lo, bukan lo yang seperti anjing, tapi lo yang seperti kuda, gigih, kuat, dapat diandalkan dan keren.

Tapi lo yang sebenarnya adalah lo yang seperti burung. Lo butuh kebebasan. Lo butuh sendirian. Lo butuh mengepakkan sayap dan pergi ke tempat lain untuk belajar kalau hidup itu nggak cuma sekadar menghibur dengan tatapan manja atau berlari keras di pacuan kuda, tapi hidup itu ya sesuatu yang tanpa batas."



Didn't expect that a friend you just met and barely knows you could tell such thing. Semacam mengobrol dengan cenayang, men hahaha. Thanks for your insight, Mr. Lulu. See you when I see you in the next #SambilJalan!

Wednesday, October 8, 2014

02:02

 

"...And you just feel ignored for long enough
And, it's just nice to feel special, sometimes."

Friday, September 26, 2014

204

Saya memang tidak terlahir dan besar di kota ini.
Keturunan suku yang merupakan mayoritas di kota ini pun bukan.
Pernah menuntut ilmu di kota ini pun belum.
Namun ada begitu banyak memori yang membekas di hati #ciegitu



Sempat ada masanya serutin itu bertandang ke kota yang satu ini.
Mungkin bisa dua kali dalam sebulan.
Bukan, bukan karena punya pasangan seperti yang dipikiran kebanyakan.
Entah untuk apa. Lari dari kenyataan di ibukota, mungkin.
Yang jelas, kalau diibaratkan pasangan, kota ini tipikal yang bikin sulit move on setelah putus.

"Dan Bandung bagiku bukan cuma, urusan wilayah belaka,
lebih jauh dari itu
Melibatkan Perasaan, yang bersamaku ketika sunyi
Mungkin, Bandung diciptakan
ketika Tuhan sedang tersenyum
Mungkin"

Untuk segala kenangan yang telah dan akan tercipta, saya ingin mengucapkan:
Selamat bertambah usia, Kota Bandung!
Usia 204 tahun bukanlah usia yang muda lagi.
Semoga terus berkembang ke arah yang lebih baik.


Salam sayang,
Salah satu warga berplat B yang jatuh cinta dengan kamu